Manimals

If you told me that the Packers would see their undefeated streak end the same day as the Colts winless streak, I would have laughed in your face.

If you told me Tebow’s Broncos would lose the same day, I would call you Lucifer.

On to the rankings!

1. Green Bay Packers (13-1) – No one wins them all, trust me Packers fans this loss was for the best. Now they can take care of business this week against the quarterbackless Bears and clinch home field throughout the playoffs.
2. New Orleans Saints (11-3) – If anyone can match the Packers firepower, it’s New Orleans. The Saints have been gangstas the last few weeks, and expect the pimp hand to be strong this week against the Falcons.
3. New England Patriots (11-3) – Beat Tebow. Clinched the AFC East. Current number one seed in the AFC. Just your typical weekend for the Pats.
4. San Francisco 49ers (11-3) – Wow, now that was a statement. Yes, Big Ben was more like Broken Ben, but they dominated from start to finish against Pittsburgh on Monday. They travel this week to Seattle to play the very feisty Seahawks in a (don’t laugh) game with playoff implication. Good thing the Niners are on the road this week, because they need to fix those lights…
5. Baltimore Ravens (10-4) – Nothing like a no-show on the road in a nationally televised game. The Ravens better hope they win the AFC North this year, because they are 7-0 at home, but a dreadful 3-4 on the road. Joe Flacco, you are just an average Joe after all.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4) – I said it last week, but I’ll say it again, the fact that Big Ben played on Monday against the 49ers says more about the lack of depth at quarterback for the Steelers. No denying the man is a gamer, but he had no business playing against that defense.
7. Houston Texans (10-4) – T.J. Yates finally had a stinker, but fortunately, everyone else in the AFC lost, so it’s all good! What isn’t all good? Arian Foster’s recent fumblitis. Stop killing my fantasy team, bro! Oh yeah, and hurting the Texans playoff seeding. Jerk.
8. Atlanta Falcons (9-5) – These guys just keep taking care of business, and Matt Ryan seems to be coming to his senses at the right time. The Jaguars can make anyone (except for the Bucs) look good, but that was a solid effort across the board and the playoffs are all but a lock.
9. Detroit Lions (9-5) – Matt Stafford = stud. Those were two very impressive drives to pull that game out against the Raiders IN Oakland. The win was significant in that it put Detroit in great position to make the playoffs, but it also gave the team their first winning season in twelve years.
10. Denver Broncos (8-6) – Jesus did say he would be busy during the Broncos game against the Pats… Tebow did Tebow things, but he did them earlier than usual, which threw everyone for a loop. In a bit of irony, the Broncos blew a sizeable lead, instead of staging a dramatic comeback.
11. Dallas Cowboys (8-6) – The Bucs secondary could make me look like Joe Montana, having said that, Tony Romo looked great in a game the Cowboys had to have. Now they have surging Eagles coming to town with visions of the playoffs dancing in their heads.
12. Cincinnati Bengals (8-6) – These guys just won’t go away, and are making Jets fans quite nervous. Ultimately I think this team falls just short, but if I’m a Bengals fan (I’m not) I would seriously be excited about the future of this team. You have a solid quarterback in Andy Dalton and an unstoppable force at receiver in AJ Green. Enjoy.
13. New York Jets (8-6) – This season hasn’t gone like Rex Ryan predicted, but then again they never have. Having said that, this team always seems to underachieve before the playoffs start and then kick it up a few gears. If they draw Houston in the Wild Card round, they may actually be favorites. PS, I think they lose to the Giants on Saturday.
14. San Diego Chargers (7-7) – Philip Rivers must hate fantasy football, because he has messed with every one of his owners this year. Those who stuck with him are reaping the benefits just in time for the playoffs. Coincidentally, his real life team may reap the same reward to a surprising AFC West title.
15. New York Giants (7-7) – Um, what was that guys? I know Rexy is Sexy and all, but you can’t, under any circumstances let Rex Grossman beat you TWICE in the same season. If the Giants miss the playoffs this year, they can blame those two losses to the Redskins.
16. Seattle Seahawks (7-7) – I believed before anyone else did! Go back three weeks ago when I said they had a decent shot of winning 8 games this year. I think I’ll go reward myself with a bag of Skittles.
17. Oakland Raiders (7-7) – Good thing these guys play in the AFC West, where it is just one rollercoaster ride after another. The Raiders have been playing like crap lately, but could still unbelievably, win the division. Merry Christmas.
18. Tennessee Titans (7-7) – Someone had to lose to the Colts, but I really didn’t think it would be the Titans. It will be interesting to see how Tennessee responds against the Jaguars. Methinks it may be time for Mr. Locker to make his first professional start this Sunday.
19. Arizona Cardinals (7-7) – Playoff long shots? You betcha. But if your team was 1-6 at one point this season and found themselves on the fringe to make the playoffs, you would probably be doing backflips. I know I would.
20. Philadelphia Eagles (6-8) – Look who has a chance to make the playoffs!? Not sure this is what they meant by dream team, but if the Eagles make the playoffs, look out!
21. Miami Dolphins (5-9) – Maybe Reggie Bush wasn’t so crazy after all when he said he could be a lead back in the NFL. Seems like he found a nice niche with Miami, and he is only 50 yards away from a 1,000 yard season. You still have to give the Heisman back, however, Reggie.
22. Carolina Panthers (5-9) – Carolina finally beat a team with a winning record! This officially makes them the “team to watch” in 2012. That could be a dangerous label, look how far it the Bucs this year…
23. Chicago Bears (7-7) – Caleb Hanie, you somehow started a handful of games in the NFL, good for you. For some reason, I don’t think Bears fans will be disgusted by the sight of Jay Cutler when he returns from his injury next season.
24. Kansas City Chiefs (6-8) – In all honesty, I didn’t think the Packers would go undefeated, but I didn’t think they would fall to the Chiefs. Has one organization ever messed with their fans psyche/well being like Kansas City has this season? Seriously, the Chiefs can realistically win the division!
25. Washington Redskins (5-9) – No need to rehash what has been said nearly every week, Rex Grossman should have been the Redskins quarterback for the entire season. He keeps them competitive and can play the position better than some other quarterbacks in the league.
26. Buffalo Bills (5-9) – Boy oh boy, no one is circling the wagons in Buffalo these days.
27. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-10) – At least they still have Maurice Jones-Drew…
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-10) – At least they have….
29. Cleveland Browns (4-10) – Seneca Wallace always seems to make a cameo appearance at least once or twice a season, and he never embarrasses himself. Why didn’t the Bears trade for this guy when Cutler got hurt?
30. Minnesota Vikings (2-12) – Where was Joe Webb?? Christian Ponder may be the future, but did you see what Webb did to the Lions two weeks ago? How does he not find his way on the field in some capacity!?
31. Indianapolis Colts (1-13) – It’s been so easy to pencil these guys at #32 all year, I figured I would do them a solid in light of their first win of the season. Congrats Dan Orlovsky, you will not go down in infamy!
32. St. Louis Rams (2-12) – Now is your time to shine, Kellen Clemens. Enjoy the spotlight!